Rainbows

Today something happened that I have never experienced on a run before...a rainbow followed me for the last mile and a half of my run. I'll start from from the beginning. My little girl went down for a nap and my hubby and a couple buddies were watching football. I put on my shoes and headed out, even though it was pretty windy and spitting rain. I haven't gotten out much the past week and I couldn't resist the open road. I threw on my shoes and trusty Garmin (I could not live without my Garmin!) and was greeted by crazy Pete, the short-haired 1 1/2 year old border collie who loves to run. He whimpers outside of the door if he thinks I'm going to go run. I sometimes wish I could get as pumped up as he does! He is my running buddy. He sticks with me pretty well and goes to the side of the road and stops when he hears a car, so it's nice to have something to warn me...but, if he sees anything that may interest him, like a ground squirrel, deer, or maybe even a moo cow, he's off like lightning. I used to run with my golden retriever Bear. She was the best running partner I ever had. I loved running with her and I know we both looked forward to our runs. She helped me train for eight marathons and accompanied me on numerous running adventures in a variety of cities, towns, and trails. But then, one day, she didn't want to go. I thought she was just tired...but then it kept happening and I realized she was having trouble keeping up. My hubby and I took her to the vet and realized she has hip dysplasia. Bummer. I miss running with her right by my side, motivating me to push hard up hills, keeping me company with her quick glances to me, and making me laugh when she does her "Bear dance" before and after a run. She gets around okay but cannot run. I hate leaving her behind when I leave for a run. It makes me sad for a moment, but I like to think she'd want me to go and she helps motivate me and keeps me smiling as I feel she is always with me spirit.

Back on track...I headed out for a 5 mile run, 6 if I felt like it, and knew the first 2-3 would be challenging because they were against the wind. Yup, I was right. The first 2 sucked. I ate some nachos before I left the house. Bad idea. Rumbling tummy and burping salsa. Ugh. By mile 2 though, I was feeling a bit better. I live out in a small ranching community and a dirt road runs by my house. I can run 2 1/2 miles east and hit a highway or I can run 7+ miles west and not run into anything but a lot of open space filled with trees, cows, or a ranch or home. It's hunting season, so right now the road is pretty busy for out here. I probably encountered 10 cars the entirety of the run, which is a lot out here in the boondocks. I hit the 2 1/2 mile mark and thought about turning around, but then decided, why not make it to 3 for a 6 mile round trip run. The wind was chilly and drops of rain spit out of the cloudy sky, but I felt like I needed to go on. My mind wandered and I started to feel guilty about missing church today. I started saying the rosary. That was a first during a run. It actually was great. No distractions other than the wind and wilderness (and Pete). Counting my Hail Mary's on my fingers. Peaceful. Mind at ease.

I turned around at mile 3 and to my left was a rainbow. It was beautiful sitting between two big hills with the creek and open pasture adding to the beauty. It made me feel even more peaceful. I continued on with the wind at my back and my mind was lost somewhere that I cannot recall, which often happens when I run, and when I started going down a hill at mile 4.5, I glanced to my left and saw another rainbow. It was light and pretty and made me smile. As I came down the hill and up another hill, there was the rainbow again. It was following me! (Or was I following it?!) As I ran past the neighboring ranch and past the hayfield to my house, the rainbow continued to follow. When I got into my driveway it was sitting right there. For some reason it made me feel light and happy. Then it struck me that it was the perfect symbol for me today. I recently made a decision to stop working as a therapist at a group home. I loved the job. Loved the kids. Loved that I got to use horses to do therapy. But, I hated the time away from my little girl and that I felt like I was losing my fun relationship with her due to work stress. Hated I didn't get to see my husband much because he's coaching football at the college in town on top of his ranching duties...oh and hunting too. I hated all of the paperwork. I hated that I felt like I did not have control of my life. So, I resigned. I had to put on my big girl panties to do this. It was hard. I am a people pleaser and overachiever in a lot of ways and did not want to feel like I failed at something. A friend of mine told me that I should not look at it as quitting, but as opening up a door to a new opportunity. That is what I've tried to keep in mind through this process of transitioning out of my job. But it's all turned out to be perfect. I ended up being offered the opportunity to continue doing therapy at the group home but doing it as a volunteer for an amount of time that will not take much time away from my family. Hey, I may not get paid, but I will continue to get experience and get to help others. Yeah!

So, I think the rainbow was the perfect symbol and metaphor for me today. New beginnings. A storm is often followed by a rainbow. A journey is often rocky or tough or challenging and sometimes even fun (just like my job) but the end of the journey is usually met in some form of satisfaction, hope, beauty, or accomplishment (how I'm feeling now). Running is similar. It can be hard but regardless how many miles or footsteps taken, I believe person makes the effort to get out the door, something is achieved, and that is awesome! Think of a race. Fun, exhilarating, exhausting, challenging...but it hopefully ends with such a great feeling of accomplishment! That is why running is so important to me. It helps me get grounded. Get back into the frame of mind to move forward with my day and gain a positive perspective. Running is my therapy and saving grace. Though some things are not constant, running continues to help me feel good. I wonder what running is to others and only hope it is for them what it is for me - something that makes my life that much better.

So, I am grateful for the rainbow I saw today. Though I did not want to embrace a couple of the steps on my run when I thought the nachos I ate might come up, but I am so thankful that I did take the time to embrace each step of my run and experience a run with a rainbow and a feeling of a positive new start in my life.